Almost every day I feel like this. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. It's not because I'm truly about to fall apart, but I have this theory... you may have heard it, "Idle hands are the devils playground". And boy, is this true. The more time I spend just sitting around thinking to myself, the more I start moping, or whining to myself, or just generally feeling like life sucks. I could be having the most perfectly, lovely day, but the moment I stop doing something, I realize that is the moment that I need to get going or else. Now, this is not true in ALL moments of my life. For instance, when sitting in the temple, quietly and peacefully by myself, I feel this perfect clarity and then it's okay to sit there and contemplate my life and where it's going. Or even at church. But I DO have to have the Spirit with me to help push my thoughts in the right direction. I'm prone to moping and self loathing, and so I have to be super careful about when to allow myself these moments of contemplation. This isn't to say they're bad or we shouldn't ever have them. On the contrary: sometimes these moments are just what I need to make a decision about what I'm going to do with myself. But there are absolutely days when the only thing keeping me sane is the fact that I'm too busy to think about myself. So whether it's school, work, cleaning, service, or whatever, I am a firm believer that the Lord gave us minds, hearts, and hands to work, and that's one of the main ways to keep us from falling into Satan's trap of losing our minds.
I hope that answered your question. And please always remember that I'm here for you, even if I'm not the best at answering my text messages.
Beep beep zoom buddy Burt.
2 comments:
I ♥ you sis! Ironically the song that that started playing as I was reading this is "Child of Light!" How perfect, just what I needed to hear. p.s I don't think you are the crappiest sister. I figured you were busy.
Cassidy, I used to be that way,only for me it's if I have too much to do, I tend to get overwhelmed. I once had a bishop tell me in a blessing to stop comparing myself. As you get older, you will start feeling better about who you are, even though I know you know who you are, sometimes we think we just aren't good enough etc. etc. and the list goes on. You are a wonderful person with a huge heart of gold and you don't have any reason to self-loathe. Just keep doing what you have to do to manage your thoughts. That is what I have had to do all these years and now I find that I'm okay with who I am and I really don't compare myself to other women much at all. It's a miracle! I love you. :)
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